Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
