This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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