And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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