I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Shame - the story of my life.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
