she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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