Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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