Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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