and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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