I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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