The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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