Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
