You're completely useless in the revolution.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
