Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
