At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize