How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize