____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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