she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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