omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize