If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
well I can't set my house on fire every night
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm passing your future prison.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
