I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
