I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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