You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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