Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
