keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
you never un-have a 4some
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize