I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
