Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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