Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
