I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
