That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
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we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
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Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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