ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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