Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize