I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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