hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
