as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
