I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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