The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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