I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
