NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
