White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Drunk is not a location!