lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off