she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?