and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude