there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out