Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
