we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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