The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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