i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
