Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
