discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
