last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
