I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have feelings that need drinking.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
