I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize