the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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