If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Boobs speak an international language.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
