There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
