This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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