blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
