I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
