I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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