THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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