That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
