i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
